Broken Anguish
by TPHPSW15
Summary: set between Avengers and Thor 2: Loki is taken to Midgard with Thor to get away from guards who want to kill him


It had been only weeks since they left New York together, holding the tesseract on both ends to transport them home. Walking done the Bifrost to the castle was awkward and quiet, the muzzle kept Loki from talking, but he could tell he had a lot to say, and more on his mind.

The walk of shame through the people of Asgard was just as bad for him as it was for his brother, one was handcuffed embarrassingly, and the other had to lead him on. Coming up to the castle was just as dreadful their parents waiting and knowing what was beyond the door. Walking up before them, Thor remained still and silent, as his father went past him to look upon Loki.

Frigga ran to her children to greet them home, Thor accepted the affection with open arms, as the other flinched away as if it were poison. She slowly stepped back defeated, while her husband began speaking to Loki.

''You're actions are distasteful, and can not be justified. All I can do is hope that the guards will be gentle with one that is not. I think of you as my own...you proved to me that is a lie, but for no reason I am the one that is sorry.''

The guards came in taking Loki away quietly, he momentarily looked back at them, to see if they were sad, and they had turned away unable to look. This made him pity himself, and he hated that.

Loki had a prison cell that was generally not that bad, and in fact quite comfy, of course all prisons in Asgard were never that horrid, but he could tell what being Odin's son was getting him. He didn't argue, but he knew they were fools for it.

Over the couple of weeks of being in prison, no one really ever came to see him, just guards and a few times Odin. He actually wanted to see the guards more than his father, with guards it's been their job to watch and be with criminals, so it was nothing new when Loki would make sarcastic remarks. When Odin came his lectures of what he had done had always made him feel like there was a spotlight of shame for him, and he would turn around or ignore him with a book.

Odin after about three visitings stopped coming and Loki felt even more deserted, he would sit up against the column in his cell and read any books he had again to pass time, even tough after passing time there would just be more time.

After a while he noticed that the guards seemed to dislike him more than the rest of the prisoners, they sometimes would make the expression that they knew something he didn't, it kinda put him on edge, but he would never admit that due to his pride.

It had been only weeks since they left New York together, it was allowed to see the prisoner if you were family, but he hadn't seen him this entire time. If you asked him why he wouldn't visit his brother, he would answer that he did not wish to, but secretly he hadn't the courage with his shame.

Swallowing all excuses he went to the dungeons and slowly made his way to the cell, Loki was seated on the floor with a book, what Thor quickly noticed was he wasn't reading it...he was crying over it. He also saw that his brother was pale and thin compared to usual.

Loki looked up from the book and froze, it was impossible to get himself out of this, his pride instantly fell.

There was silence until Loki's quiet voice spoke.

''This is where you begin to pity me, and the respect for myself is gone.''

''That is where you're wrong, I've already taken pity on you.''

''Then there is nothing to be spoken between us.'' Loki stood up to put the book up, and stumbled on nothing, landing back on the ground.

''Are you okay?''

''Yes, just clumsy.''

''Then explain why you're pale and thin.''

''Why are you down here?''

''I wanted to see you, now answer the question.''

''Last few days I've been getting frail, I don't know what's wrong.''

''Why didn't you tell anyone?''

''Oh forgive me, I forgot that I can march right up to the throne and tell Odin.''

''Okay, but how come we didn't know?''

''The guards said they would tell you, I guess it's obvious they didn't. I just thought you had forgotten me.''

''Brother-'' Loki cut him off quickly.

''I'VE NEVER BEEN YOU'RE BROTHER,'' Loki hit the glass with his fist and looked down.

''...Loki, you really did think you were in the shadows, didn't you?''

Loki's expression completely changed.

''It's the only thing I don't lie about, I knew that if I added an arrogant tone, it would be brushed off as another lie...I guess I did that because I wanted it to be one.''

There were a few moments of tensed silence.

''So now you're going to say to everyone that there's still good in me, that I should have another chance.''

''I've already known that, and there's no need to tell anyone.''

''Why not?''

''Because they all think the equivalent.''

A scratchy voice from behind Thor responded.

''We don't.''

Four guards posted near Loki's cell attacked Thor, and he knocked them all down except one, in which he pinned on a wall.

''Why are you attacking me?''

''We want to kill the prisoner, you're simply in the way.''

''What?''

''He holds to big a threat to the people, so he must go.''

Loki from still inside his cell spoke up.

''I do believe that option is for the king to decide.''

''He's just keeping you alive because you're his son, if not you would've been executed long ago.''

''Except I'm not his biological son.''

''And that is why you grow faint, we took you're magical energies.''

Loki slowly backed away from the glass.

''No,'' he said softly.

A harsh dry cough force Loki back on the floor, and Thor smashed the glass with his hammer. He offered his hand to help him up, but he oversaw it and got up on his own.

Loki and Thor ran out of the dungeons and into the castle to get to Odin.

''Brother why would taking you're magic make you ill?''

''It doesn't matter now, we need to get to all father.''

Odin was in his room with Frigga talking casually when they ran in.

''Hello...what, Loki...GUARDS!''

Thor ran to his father and quieted him.

''Father, the guards are trying to kill Loki.''

Odin was confused, but glanced over to Loki for reassurance.

''It's true.''

''Father they said that they had taken his magic.''

Odin stopped in place and became petrified, Frigga seemed to be scared as well now.

''Loki, are you already weak.''

The answer he did not want came to him.

''Allfather, I don't understand,'' Thor stated.

''Jotuns...die without magical energies.''

Thor gazed over at his brother who was now staring down nervously.

''Why...''

''Son, we need you to get him out of here, take him to Midgard until we find out how to fix this,'' Frigga replied.

Thor remained motionless in shock.

''NOW!''

''How will you transport us?''

''Get to end of the Bifrost and I will send you from there.''

Thor and Loki left swiftly, the run through the people of Asgard was filled with gasps and confused glares, but they didn't stop for anything.

Reaching the beginning of the Bifrost Loki suffered a coughing fit and fell once more, this time accepting Thor's outstretched hand, which held his to help him run faster to the end of the bridge. After a couple of seconds there was a flash and they were transported to Midgard.

Thor focused and saw they were close to New York, he didn't need anymore hints from his father on where to go. He turned around to see his brother on the ground breathing deeply, and helped him up.

Bruce had been at Tony's house a lot lately for he didn't really have anywhere to go, they were having some drinks and watching T.V. having a break from cleaning and repairing the building. The was still just an A on the tower and there was a lot of rubble everywhere, but the windows were all replaced along with the balcony.

New York was the same way, the building with significant damage looked the same, but some where remodeled and seemed fine. There was trash and rubble and a few chitauri ships here and there, but overall you could notice an improvement.

Tony had just sat down with a refill when something flew onto the balcony, Tony peered over and saw Thor holding up a mop of black hair that was shaking. He walked cautiously to Thor and stopped at the door.

''I know there's apparently something wrong, but is he strong enough to do anything.''

''No, I won't let him...please help.''

Before Tony could answer yes Loki heaved and fell limp, Tony helped pick him up and move him inside.

''BANNER, kinda need you're help right about now.''

Bruce got up and they laid him on the couch, he felt his pulse and checked his breathing.

''His breathing is irregular, but he has a strong pulse, what happened?''

''He had his magic energy taken from him, it's infused with his DNA, and he'll die without it.''

''Thor I really can't do much for him.''

''I know, all I ask is you do what you can, our father is trying to fix it, but I want you keep him going as long as you can.''

''I can do that, I have some questions though, like can his body be treated with are medication and not make him worse?''

Thor thought about it, Asgardians could be treated with midgardian things, but his brother wasn't Asgardian, it made everything frustrating for all Thor knew about Jotuns was from the stories he had been told, those stories never gave those answers.

''I honestly do not know.''

''Well let's move him to a more stable room.''

''I have a room that can quickly be made into a sorta mini hospital,'' Tony chimed in.

''Why does it seem you have everything,'' Bruce asked.

''Because I have enough money for everything.''

They all gathered in the elevator and brought him to the room, laying him on the bed.

''His breathing evened out, I think that he's just going to have moments that are worse than others.''

''May I stay here with him?''

''Of course.''

A few hours later Loki woke up and felt nauseous, opening his eyes was short with the light flooding into his vision. Finally focusing he looked over and saw his brother sitting next to him.

''No, I don't have any smart remarks.''

''I know that you didn't want to come here, but we had nowhere else, and if you're hungry, they're willing to let you come eat with us. If you have the strength to come and you don't try to kill them.''

He left his brother alone and went to get some food, were Bruce was having cereal and doing paperwork at the table, and Tony was just having a drink as usual.

''Thor do you know any 'midgardian' foods?''

''I once had a box of poptarts, I request those.''

Tony handed the small amount of poptarts he could find over Thor, and he awkwardly took them out and began eating them standing up.

The anxiety in the room instantaneously increased, and everyone knew why before they turned around. At the entrance of the room stood Loki quietly, when everyone realized he was there and began to look, he froze. Thor recognized the discomfort of their eyes on him, and held out the box for his brother to take.

Letting go of the door frame Thor automatically saw that he strided quite stiffly and sloppily across the floor, coming up to his brother Loki slowly grabbed a package from the box in bemusement and opened it up staring at it curiously.

''There called poptarts, try them.''

He took a bite, coughed, and handed them to back Thor unimpressed, then went and sat down on the couch farthest away from everyone.

''Midgardian food is quite odd at times,'' Loki stated.

No one spoke to each other and the silence among them was eerie, with Loki being in the room it put Bruce and Tony in a strange place.

''Oh please, don't let my presence lay waste to your communication.''

''Your presence, has nothing to do with the lack of our communication,'' Bruce responded.

''Because I'm the only one who feels the unpleasant quiet.''

''My brother is right, we need to rid of this what you Midgards call 'awkward silence'.''

Loki rolled his eyes carelessly to the relation remark, but had no care to correct.

''What could we possibly say to each other, that would fit in our circumstances.''

''I did not want you to speak with me, but to speak among yourselves...unless what you want to say is insulting to me,'' Loki retorted.

''Brother we are guests in their residence, and your behavior will mimic that of a god.''

''You forget 'brother' that I am no god, but of lies and mischief.''

''And you forget that this instance is of protection, or do I need re-enact our last conversation on Asgard.''

Loki narrowed his eyes in a glare, but then got up and went to the balcony.

''How did you do that?''

Thor followed his brother outside and came up next to him.

''I meant no disrespect.''

''Then it seems you have failed.''

Tony and Bruce were gazing out the window to Thor and Loki who were unheard from where they sat.

''What do you think their saying,'' Tony asked.

''I don't know, but it probably sounds sophisticated.''

After a few more moments of watching intently they saw Thor dive for a falling Loki and motion to them.

''He's getting weak again, will he be okay,'' Thor said clearly concerned.

''Yeah, but let's get him back to the bed so he can rest it off.''

Tony and Thor moved him to the bed, and laid him down gently, while Bruce came through to check his breathing.

''Breathing is scarce and rigid, but his pulse is fine. If there's no improvement in the breathing I may have to get him an oxygen mask, but I still don't know if I can treat him with medication.''

''You can,'' Loki said quietly.

''But your-'' Thor tried to say before his brother cut him off.

''I know what I'm saying, I researched them, right before I massacred Laufey and most of the people.''

''Your the one who did that?''

''I thought it would make Odin proud to see that I didn't care about my kind, when in all reality, he was nothing.''

''Granted that he doesn't know,'' Thor defended.

''There are many things he chooses not to tell, such as neglecting someone's right to knowledge their heritage, and turning them against it. Then pretending he loves them, when their just another stolen relic.''

''You are not a stolen relic, you were an abandoned youth, which had enough luck to cross paths with a merciful being who noticed your worth.''

''MY WORTH WAS PEACE BETWEEN TWO KINGDOMS, BECAUSE ODIN WANTED TO BE SEATED ON HIS ASS!''

Thor slapped Loki right below his temple in defense against his father, Loki slowly turned his head back to face the god of thunder.

''And I'm the one that's distasteful.''

Thor left the room in frustration, but the second he was out of sight he stopped and took a shaky sigh of realization that he had hit someone who already thought he hated them.

Thor, Tony, and Bruce all gathered in the living room.

''You want to explain what that was,'' Bruce announced.

Thor sat down on the couch and looked back up to Tony and Bruce.

''My father Odin was at war with an entire race called Jotuns, but most people call them frost giants. The had the most extravagant battle, and after, Odin found an infant, it was King Laufey's son, he was left to die because he was so small. Odin took him in as his own and had a spell put on him to turn his blue skin white, and red eyes blue. Last year Loki discovered this, having never been told, he felt betrayed and unloved, and he just told me that he apparently killed Laufey and many other Jotuns.''

''Well then,'' Tony mumbled.

''Thor, would the said spell that makes him look how he does, is that still being used from your father or Loki now,'' Bruce noted.

''Well I would suspect that since Loki can control the change that he has the...oh.''

His breathing only worsened and the oxygen mask was eventually needed, everyone left him for a moment so he could relax properly, Thor stayed close to the room though, and JARVIS would keep them updated.

Loki woke up and knew something was amiss, he looked at his arms and they were slowly fading to blue. He closed his eyes hoping it was a lie with everything else, his true form was repulsing to him, it felt vile.

Thor, Tony, and Bruce were seated two rooms away all drinking coffee quietly, but not in weird silence, but the kind where no one is talking and yet so much is being said. The peaceful stillness in the room was broken by JARVIS' message.

''Excuse me, but my functions have told me that the patient has removed his oxygen.''

Thor darted to the room to find his brother faintly breathing and shaking from the exertion, he was slowly converting to the form that Thor had never seen.

''Brother, what are you doing.''

He looked at Thor with his deathly pale face which was disappearing, and spoke with his low coarse voice.

''Do you loath a miscreation that has no respect for itself?''

''Does one refer to itself as such for reason of thinking they were taught to react with the word miscreation.''

''That was not the question,'' Loki whispered.

''If the answer you search for is no, then I would lie to say that, though I only despise the way of this one's behavior.''

''And what is this behavior.''

''Self-critical, and arrogant,'' Thor said in spite.

Loki started coughing gratingly as each one tormented his body with pain he chose to ignore.

''Brother, please.''

''I HAVE NEVER BEEN YOUR BROTHER, WE SHARE NO BLOOD.''

''We are brother's through memory and care, your blood left you to die because you were weak, and your family stands beside you now, telling you to get over it.''

''WHY DID LAUFEY THINK ME WEAK, I DESTROYED THIS CITY BECAUSE I AM STRONG, AND I GET PAID WITH DEATH, MY WHOLE LIFE WAS IT, I WAS BORN TO IT, AND RAISED BY SOMETHING WORSE...FEIGN!''

''We never pretended to love you, yes keeping the secret from you was vicious, but the intentions were not.''

Loki sat up and Thor saw for the second time in his life that he was about to shed a tear.

''I NEVER WANTED THIS, WHY DID YOUR FATHER TAKE ME, WHY COULDN'T I BE OVERLOOKED, LEFT TO DIE AS IT SHOULD'VE BEEN!''

Thor had no reply, he just stared wistfully at those tragic eyes wondering how the sadness in them could be overseen so often. He didn't know why he did it, he didn't even remember thinking it, but he knew it had to be done. He seized Loki and pulled him into a hug to comfort him, of course it didn't work out that well for a few seconds.

''DON'T TOUCH ME, LET GO!'' The last syllable dissolved into the first beakdown of tears he ever had.

Loki had given up on trying to seem strong and professional, it was too difficult to keep appearances up, and his brother had never truly been that horrid to him.

By now Loki was completely in his true form, but had gotten calm and still, Thor watched his chest for movement intently and the second it stopped he could see the discomfort and moved hurriedly to put the mask back on. His breathing came back, but it was raspy and he would wheeze often.

Thor came back out of the room once he fell asleep and plopped down in the seat across from Tony and Bruce.

''Is he okay?''

''Yes.''

''Are you okay?''

''I'm not sure.''

''Well it seems you got him to calm down though,'' Tony added.

''Were you two listening?''

''We could hear him all the way from here, it was impossible to drown out.''

''I apologize.''

''You don't need to.''

Four total days had gone by, Loki by then was barely alive, his breathing was so shallow that the only proof of it was the fog on the mask, when he could tell that his brother was worried if he was already dead, he would make a soft whining noise. Thor took advantage of this moment to look at the Jotuns markings on his face and arms curiously, after wondering what they were for a while, he noticed that Loki's hands were turning back to their usual color, but still quite pale.

Loki opened his eyes slightly as they changed from red to light blue irises.

''Brother...'' he said quietly.

Thor of course smiled, he could see the instant improvement in his breathing.

''I guess father finally did it.''

Thor had Bruce check over everything and he was actually getting better faster than he got sick.

After a couple of hours Loki was holding onto walls and furniture and found himself sitting on a couch, eating applesauce which he was completely confused on the idea of smashing fruit to eat it, no matter how many times you told him.

Thor continued with his new-found obsession of poptarts, Loki tried them once more, and again giving them back in disgust.

Finally, when all was said and done and Loki was good enough for intense travel, they left.

''Many thanks, friend Stark and Banner.''

''Your welcome.''

Thank you,'' Loki chimed in.


End file.
